Sunday 9th June 2019

Hello world,

28 years old, watching others get married and reproducing, living their best life and here i am about to start a blog post break up. I just smiled to myself writing that sentence, i find it amusing that i am here… ‘again’. Partner-less, hurt, lost and a little defeated, stomach full of burger king which i had delivered, because lets be honest i feel so s*** today that id rather pay £3 and have junk food at my door then face the world and go get it myself.

I thought about putting pen to paper, concealing all my woes in between the dots of my bullet journal but this time i want to share my journey. I know i will be fine because i have hit rock bottom once before and got back up, unfortunately heartbreak is an experience i am far too familiar with so this time i am a little more prepared.

Last few weeks i submerged head first into the ritual of crying, i hugged my big couch pillow and wept until my ribs hurt. Loss of appetite, low energy, i slept and wept, went through the various scenarios of the relationship in my head until my imagination ran dry. My heart hurt. Today i fed my pain and watched Grace and Frankie all day, i love that show, it made me smile. Tomorrow i am going to make a plan to move forward and hopefully start to rebuild my life.

I am not a writer, nor have any interest in becoming a commercial blogger. I am writing because as sad as this sounds, i have no one else that i can talk to. I am scared to show and tell the people that i love that i am hurting, i don’t want them to worry or pity me. 4 years ago i recovered from a brutal breakup and intense depression, I don’t want them to think i am on that route again. Because i am not. I know i can move on from this pain and build a new life for myself.

Join me in my journey.

J.S